Bargaining with your soul

Chronic pain is so hard to endure

Carry it like a curse

Impossible to ignore or forget

Medication might dull the effects

But it still keeps you tensed up

Reminding you that you are the victim

Teaching you a lesson the hard way

Scolding you to avoid doing whatever it was causing the pain

Be it a careless injury or a sickness from your bad lifestyle 

Often its neither and you have nobody to blame

You start to ask why me

You become envious of those who live pain free

People are sympathetic but they cannot feel your pain

Its not something that can be shared around

You are stuck with it 

Your cross to bear

Your torture to suffer

Sleep brings temporary relief

Nothing worse than waking up in pain

You start to bargain with your soul

Making deals if he can eliminate the pain

The penance will be worth it

Keep bargaining

Landscape painting

On a beautiful summer day

An artist set up an easel

Arranged his paints

Studied the landscape

Slow deliberate brushstrokes

Outlined the rolling hills

The green foliage

And the bright blue sky

He went into a trance 

The brush welded to his hand

Moved autonomously

Without any thought

Muscles in his hand

Controlled by unknown forces

Reproducing the landscape

Onto the canvas

He stopped to admire

His finished work

A passing family

Looked on in awe

Their youngest child

Pointed to a lonely cloud

In the blue sky

You missed a bit he said

The artist smiled

Handed him the brush

Just close your eyes

And imagine that cloud

With closed eyes

The brush danced

The missing cloud appeared

His family gasped

To the family the artist gave

That landscape painting

And to the boy

His easel paints and brushes

Business as usual

when I lived in England

wherever I was living at the time

I always had a local pub

one where the bartenders were like friends

they knew all about me and what drinks I liked

pouring my favorite drink as I walked in the door

picking up the conversation we had from last time

it was almost like an extended family

no matter what the weather was like outside

no matter what political drama was going on in the country

no matter if my team was winning or losing in the Premier league

no matter if I came in straight from work or late at night

no matter if I came in alone or with a friend or lover

no matter if I had not been in for many months

no matter if I came in for a quick drink or a long session

no matter if I just had a drink or ordered a meal

no matter if I was tired and grumpy or refreshed and happy

no matter what day of the week it was

as soon as I walked in that pub

it was business as usual

the beer always tasted wonderful

and the conversations were great

Sleep problems

Normally I sleep well

Waking up feeling refreshed

But today was something unusual

I went to bed at the normal time’

fell asleep with no problem

then I woke up at 3:30am

tried so hard to go back to sleep

tossing and turning

breathing and seething

I kept checking the time

after an eternity it was still only 4am

I tried laying ever so still

holding my breath and waiting

sleep evaded me for some unknown reason

I began to think what may have caused this

no excess of food or drink the night before

no crazy caffeinated drink near bedtime

no particular thing worrying me to stay awake

the clock ticked on ever so slowly to 4:45 am

I tried counting sheep but the numbers were too great

yawning at 5:20am

I wanted so hard to fall asleep

making deals with the sleep gods

promising to be a better person

it made no difference at 6:25AM

light was peeking under the curtains

morning was beckoning but I was too tired to get up

I finally gave up at 7:30AM

no chance for more sleep in bed

I got up and made some tea

calm but weary as I drank it

I struggled through the morning

I waded slowly through the afternoon

laying down for a desperate nap that never came

wondering why my sleep was stolen from me

bedtime came around ever so slowly

tossing and turning for another eternity

eventually I fell asleep

a long dream filled welcome sleep

I woke up clearly remembering those dreams

but soon forgot about them

it was 7:30am and I felt so much better

I said a big thank you to the gods of sleep

please do not deprive me again

my magic carpet ride

two hours and twelve minutes after sunset

a glow appeared on the southerly horizon

suddenly the tip of the moon crept into view

slowly she climbed above the tree line

a full strawberry moon in a clear sky

she seemed so much bigger than when up high above

on such a quiet night the wind respectfully stood silent in awe

the still waters of the bay became a nocturnal mirror

while low in the sky she seemed to pause briefly 

reflecting a broad orange moonbeam onto the bay

this perfect carpet pointed directly towards me

inviting me to walk its path towards the moon

come visit me she whispered come visit me

I closed my eyes and flew over the bay

my magic carpet ride to the moon

Empanadas and salsa music make luxury high rise condos

Another high rise building has been topped off in Coconut Grove

A peanut shaped tower of concrete and glass

It will eventually be luxury waterfront condos

Designed for the tastes and the wallets of Miami’s super rich

Today it belongs to the construction crews

Dangling in cradles slung from the rooftop

All sporting high visibility vests and hard hats

Safe clothing disguises the most risky jobs

They arrived at the job site before seven am

Hard working men each carrying a lunch box

Dangerous dangling deeds fueled by empanadas 

Grinding exterior concrete smooth to the rhythm of loud salsa music

Today they are pulling off protective plastic from the huge windows

Unwrapping this three hundred foot gift box for the most wealthy folks on the planet

Eventually it will be home to fine art marble and private chefs

I wonder who really needs a seven thousand square foot penthouse

Grinding tools chatter away filling the air with concrete dust

No alfresco dining this morning on the adjacent tower balconies

Their owners paid millions to have water front property

Until this new monster appeared to block their view

High rise buildings going up all along the water front

Leap frogging each other to steal the best views of Biscayne bay

Those bringing the biggest pile of cash get the best views

So sad that the poorest millionaires have to face inland 

Setting intentions

its early morning

the sun is just about to rise

everything is quiet

a great time to sit and think

I start with an empty mind

setting my intentions for the day

trying to avoid my mistakes of yesterday

its not easy to keep everybody around you happy

sometimes those you love don’t meet your expectations

sometimes you don’t meet their expectations

disappointment can lead to frustration 

all you can do is try to be better yourself

and hope the ones you love be more forgiving

people often forget that life is just a transient thing

these times together will not last forever

they should be treasured 

I will try harder today

sunrise brings hope

My torque wrench talks

yesterday I need to fix something around the house

I reached into my toolbox

my trusty old torque wrench caught my eye

for those of you who are not gear heads like me

let me explain what a torque wrench does

it controls precisely how much you tighten a bolt

to get the designed compression in the joint

I bought my torque wrench over fifty years ago

its initial use was rebuilding the engine of my first car

there is a sequence in tightening the cylinder head bolts

the wrench goes click when you apply the right torque

I learned a lot about cars back then

I spent more time tinkering than driving

I took classes in car mechanics and studied hard

determined to learn how everything worked on that car

I just had to dismantle every part and reassemble it

friends and family brought their cars to me

to service and repair

I learned how to fix bodywork and spray paint 

it became a part time business when I was seventeen

I figured out how to rebuild engines and tune them for extra power

a few years later I joined a local car racing club

I met a very enthusiastic race car owner

who loved to drive his racing Mini Cooper very fast

he knew absolutely nothing about the mechanics

an instant partnership was formed

I taught him how to tune his Mini Cooper

we travelled all over the UK to race meetings

he let me drive the car during practice sessions

eventually he moved on to open wheel race cars

he sold me his racing Mini Cooper and trailer

I became a one man race team owner driver and mechanic

my trusty torque wrench often went click late into the night

I spent two seasons racing that mini at race circuits all over England

it was hard work but so rewarding to race a car that I maintained myself

I retired from race car driving to focus on my career

that torque wrench remained in my toolbox for decades

just holding it brings back memories

click click

And then it rained

We took a roadtrip to visit friends

Its only a four hour drive

We left mid afternoon 

It was a bright warm sunny day

The cornfields were high in late August

Not too much traffic made it a pleasant drive

We chose a route through small towns

Stopping at a cute riverside restaurant

We chose a table overlooking the water

Families were arriving by boat for dinner

Perfect weather for boating with light winds

We ate fresh local seafood

While people watching dockside

A large cruiser docked at the end of a T dock

Surprisingly only two people were on board 

They seemed to be a couple but did not walk together

Maybe they were not in a happy place

A pontoon boat docked with twelve people 

Probably a family with three generations

The youngest were all toddlers in life jackets

They were all laughing and smiling as they disembarked

Obviously one big happy family

After dinner we set off for the last part of the drive

Expecting to arrive around 8pm after sunset

We listened to some fascinating podcasts 

Then as the light faded the sky tuned black

Instead of a beautiful sunset we saw rain clouds

Light rain fell at first but quickly changed to a downpour

The conditions we so bad it was hard to see the road markings

Slowing down to a safe speed while others dangerously sped by 

Passing cars were throwing up huge rooster tails of spray

Our pleasant roadtrip turned into a very stressful drive

The rain continued until we got to our destination

Suddenly stopping as we unloaded the car

We were grateful to have arrived safely

Reflecting on how a simple weather event significantly changed our day