Roasties on my tombstone

My earliest culinary memories are of mashed potatoes, a true comfort food in my childhood years. Served with fried sausages and affectionately known as bangers and mash, I recall heaping the potatoes into the middle of the plate and pushing each sausage into the pile so they stuck out in all directions.

I would then make a hollow in the middle to form a gravy lake. The objective was to eat everything from the outside inwards and see how long you could go before the gravy lake dam walls burst.  English mashed potatoes are firm, fluffy and buttery, made with a splash of milk.

French mashed potatoes are known as Pomme Puree, I was never a big fan of their creamy and very runny consistency. It could be classified as a posh froggy soup.

American mashed potatoes are not as mushy as the French version but still way too creamy and not firm enough for my taste.  

While growing up in England, I never came across the term french fries, we called them chips and the best ones came from our local fish and chip shop or “chippy”. For just a few pennies you could buy a portion of chips wrapped in newspaper, it was the staple diet in every working class region and the thick cut chips were served with salt and vinegar. When taken home, I would butter white bread and make a chip sandwich, the famous “chip butty”. The heat from the chips would melt the butter and today I still yearn for that buttery/bread/potato combination taste. 

Moule frites is a popular French meal,  although its more of a Belgian dish. It consists of steamed mussels served with very thinly cut french fries with mayonnaise on the side. I never really liked those slimmed down fries but it was fun to wash them down with a strong Belgian beer or two. 

I first tasted American fries at a Disneyland McDonalds and for me they were way to skinny, almost like matchsticks.  I remember asking for vinegar and being totally gobsmacked to discover they don’t offer it with their fries which often come over salted.  No self respecting English chippy would dare cut their chips that thin or have the audacity to deny customers the pleasure of having them soaked in vinegar. 

The king of all potato dishes for me is the mighty roast potato or “roastie” which we would have with our family meal on a Sunday accompanied by roast beef, lamb or chicken. As a child I remember seeing the beef dripping being melted in preparation for the roasties. I love the crispy outside and soft steamy interior of an English roastie, they taste sublime when dipped in gravy.

I always save one roastie to be consumed as the last bite of my home cooked roast dinner.  Sadly I have never tasted a perfect roastie outside of England and it’s the first thing I request when going back there to visit my sister Kath.  She makes them just like my mother used to, I have never quite managed to replicate that taste. I suspect the recipe is a closely guarded family secret that is only passed down to daughters.  My tombstone will read “He travelled the world eating potatoes but always went back to England for his roasties”.  

Therefore I am(maybe?)

I write

therefore

I am

I think

therefore

I am

I think I write

therefore

I am a thinking writer

I write about lots of things

Therefore

I think a lot

Sometimes

I think too much

Leaving little time for writing

I think I should try writing without thinking

What would people think about my thoughtless writing

No reason to live if I don’t think and write

I will stop thinking when I die

But I might schedule posts on Cheeky Monkey well into the future

So that you can read my posthumous writings

I think that’s a great idea

Therefore I am not

A perfect day

I woke up restless

Bad thoughts filled my head

The dawn light was breaking

Wife was beside me sleeping soundly

Reality snapped back in

All was good, it was just a bad dream

Slipped out of bed to make tea

Birds were singing outside

I made a high protein breakfast

While hydrating to excess

Checked over my bike in the garage

Pumped up the tires and tested the brakes

It was time to get dressed

Heart monitor strap went on first

Then my bib n brace and cycling jersey

Loaded the bike with 2 full water bottles

Filled my back pocket with emergency supplies

Added a couple of energy gels

Bike shoes and helmet donned

Took the wife some hot tea

She was only half awake

Rolled out to taste the air

It was super hot and very humid

Started to pedal steadily down the empty streets

Soon met the rest of the group

We set off in a pace-line

Wheel to wheel matching speeds

The rider in front dictated the pace

While pointing out hazards ion the road

I took my turn at the front

Pushing hard into the strong wind 

Riding mostly on back roads with virtually no traffic

Great conversations as we whizzed by farmlands

We reached the half way rest stop

Time for a comfort break and a snack

More hydration and chatting ensued

Back in the saddle for the fast ride home

Mostly downwind so we could fly

Made it back home safely

34 miles on the computer

Lifted the bike onto the wall rack

Ate protein, showered and took a short nap

Tackled the rest of the day with vigor 

Did tons of stuff in the afternoon and evening

A perfect day

Sizzle sizzle

No breeze

Oppressive heat

Horribly humid

Stale air

Energy sapping

Go shopping

Hot car

Sizzling seats

Short drive

Inside mall

Air conditioned

Smiling faces

Happy shoppers

Food court

Ice cream

Sticky children

Frazzled parents

Wander mall

Shop more

Buy stuff

Step outside

Humid inferno

Load car

Seats burning

Drive home

Stay inside

Well hydrated

Watch TV

Weather reports

Heat advisories

Global warming

Painfully evident

Cold winters

Fading memories

Sizzling summers

Endless heat

monster madness

Monster trucks

Monster deals

Monster bargains

Monster meals

Monster houses

Monster debts

Monster mortgages 

Monster regrets

Monster politicians

Monster candidates

Monster elections

Monster debates

Monster earnings

Monster thieving

Monster poverty

Monster grieving

Monster problems

Monster sadness

Monster depression

Monster madness

life and death of a word

it must be fun to be a word on paper

somebody created you with thought and imagination

carefully selecting and arranging the letters that make you unique

putting you out there for people read

to capture the thoughts and ideas of the writer

maybe you will inspire others into doing great things

you soon get to know all the other words on your page

lively discussions and heated debates follow

friendships are formed as you bond with other words

you might go on a long trip if your page is mailed 

listening to the world go by from a mail truck

waiting in a mailbox to be collected

quietly sitting in an unopened envelope on a desk

suddenly the envelope is opened

a bright light falls upon your page

you all stand to attention while your page is read

but what lies next for you and the other words

will you be framed and immortalized like a certificate

or hidden away in a filing cabinet

will you be crumpled up and tossed into the trash 

you lay face down on a desk wondering for a few days

until a loud noise rudely interrupts your peace

the death curdling grinding noise gets louder

your page is being steadily pulled into a shredder

line by line all the words are cut into tiny pieces

you feel the blades ripping through your letters

you pray for word reincarnation

Ten minutes to happiness

have you ever tried to figure out what makes you happy

we have all come across somebody who we think should be happier

especially those blessed with good health and a loving partner

I wondered if happiness could be achieved simply by changing the way we think

I stumbled upon an interesting book called Ten Minutes to Happiness by Sandi Mann

she explains that happiness is a trait that you can cultivate within yourself 

rather than a feeling that you wait to be washed over you

her book is based on research in the field of gratification journaling

she recommends you spend ten minutes a day keeping a journal

writing down the answers to the same six questions every day

as your journal expands you should also read previous entries

this will help shift you to a more mindful state of being

here are the six questions to ask yourself daily-

1- What experiences, however mundane, gave you pleasure

2- What praise and feedback did you receive 

3- What where the moments of pure good fortune

4- What were your achievements, however small

5- What made you feel grateful

6- How did you express kindness

I found the sixth question the most intriguing

how could being kind to others improve your happiness

donating a sum of money anonymously can be very gratifying 

research suggest this is far more rewarding than spending that money on yourself

the theory behind all this is that bad feelings tend to overshadow everything else

so by reminding yourself of of the good things in your life you get a better balanced perspective

apparently the more you journal, the more your actions can shift towards happier activities

your ship of life will then steer a course to paradise island- lets all meet up there!

Words in a rorrim sound so tnereffid

Stnap agoy does not fit as well as yoga pants

Eeffoc werb dloc will not taste like cold brew coffee

I prefer peppermint tea to eat tnimreppep

Was your reverse commute longer than your etummoc esrever

Sunny days are much brighter than syad ynnus

Full moon high tides beat sedit hgih noom lluf

Tnemtrapa esir hgih is inferior to a high rise apartment 

Would you prefer a romantic dinner over a rennid citnamor

Take off your large overcoat and put on your taocrevo egral

Smooth jazz music sounds better than cisum zzaj htooms

Your red lipstick turned to kcitspil der ruoy

A dog chased a cat and the tac a desahc god a

Open the door to find dnif ot rood eht nepo

Sdrawkcab ynnuf sdnuos sounds funny backwards 

Are you annoyed by yb deyonna uoy era

Relax this is the end of it ti fo dne eht si siht xaler