Month: April 2024

Once a gear head always a gear head

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Rolling thoughts: enlighten yourself to the dark arts of bike maintenance

When I was young I liked to tinker with bicycles

Building crazy bikes from old wrecks

Tearing around the neighborhood on two wheels

 That ended abruptly when I learned to drive

I got into cars big time

I raced mini coopers in England

I was the owner/driver/mechanic/crew chief

Eventually giving it up to focus on my career/family

In later years I developed a passion for exotic sports cars

Taking on a full ground up restoration

Followed by some fast track days

My sports car days finished when my mid life crisis was over

Today I drive a Lexus

I have it serviced at the dealer

My only intervention is adding air to the tires

Its less stressful to drive a reliable vehicle

In retirement I rediscovered the joys of cycling

So now I play with pedals and cranks all day

My garage is a bike workshop

I am regressing back into my childhood 

Modern phrases can drive you to drink

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they say you should reduce your carbon footprint

I don’t recall ever stepping into carbon 

apparently its about your carbon emissions

perhaps all farts should be filtered to remove CO2

I am pretty sure I grew up eating gluten free

because the word gluten had not been invented then

we never ate anything called organic either

but we did buy fresh vegetables from the pig poo smelly farm

they say you can’t have your cake and eat it

who wants to buy a cake and NOT eat it

well I suppose it happens in my house sometimes

my wife once bought a cake but I ate it all

what is the point of saying everything happens for a reason

so that tree fell on his car for a reason

like he deserved it for being such a cheating husband

did the suicidal leaping tree feel sorry for his wife 

you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink

I have never led a horse anywhere

I suspect a horse knows when he is thirsty

and then he would lead you to water

why do people say whatsup when they greet you

did they totally forget that the sky is up

are their eyes incapable of seeing above them

just tell them “up” is the direction of a higher place

why do loving couples communicate like infants

wifey tells hubby I wuv my wittle babypoo

hubby says hey sweetums want a drinky winky

their embarrassed kids should tell them to grow up and talk like adults

are people really laughing out loud when they text LOL

I never saw an ass fall off somebody laughing

lets stop talking words altogether and just abbreviate

IMO BRB OMG LMAO IDK ILY WTF

Oh dear oh deer

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There were four young deer in the forrest

Their names were Jack, Delores, Billy and Wendy

Jack was always leading them into trouble

Billy was carefree and oblivious to any danger

Delores and Wendy were nervous and always checking around them

They had grown up with each other and always stuck together

This was the first year they roamed far away from their parents

Lets go and raid some flower beds tonight said Jack

I’m in said Billy as Delores and Wendy rolled their eyes

The girls knew this adventure would not go smoothly

Long after dark they emerged from the forrest

Quietly walking through a neighborhood

The girls kept pausing to look and listen 

Billy and Jack were laughing and joking

They came across a big house with beautiful landscaping

Oh those flowers smell so sweet said Jack as he marched up the driveway

Billy was beside him smiling in anticipation of a tasty treat

The girls hung back nibbling on the bushes farthest from the house

Billy was trampling through flower beds and munching with abandon

Jack was heading for the sweetest blooms close to the house

After a few minutes they had almost decimated the front yard

Even the girls got bold and came closer to the house

Jack was laughing and Billy just kept eating everything in sight

Don’t get to too close to the house said Delores

Jack tripped the proximity sensor and the floodlights flashed on

They all froze and looked around ears pricked up

A dog started barking and the front door was opening

Run for it shouted Wendy as the big dog sprinted towards them

They ran as fast as they could back to the forrest

Delores could hear the dog barking well behind them

They out-ran the dog but did not stop until they were deep inside the forest

Jack and Billy started laughing as the girls scolded them

You boys just did not listen and almost got us killed they screamed

Lets finish the flowers and mess with that stupid dog again said Jack

Yea that was a ton of fun laughed Billy lets go back later

Delores caught the scent of a human and cried danger danger

An arrow came raining down and tore through Billy 

They all ran but Billy was mortally wounded and fell down

Delores and Wendy started to cry

Jack watched the hunters drag Billy’s limp body away

Reflections on the middle of everything

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If Wednesday is the middle of the week

Do you consider the week half over or half to go?  If you knew when you will die, would you celebrate living half of your life or having half left?

Are you happy in this moment of time or are you waiting for a happier moment to come along?

I am declaring this moment in time to be transient because by the time you finished reading this sentence, the moment has gone forever and been replaced by another moment. 

Does this mean you can only be happy for the tiny moment we call now and then lose it all at the end of that moment forcing you to refill the arriving empty moment with more happiness? What an exhausting way to live, much easier to stay happy constantly and let the moments come visit you. 

Happy ?% completion of your life

Happy 17th day of this fourth month of your yearly orbit around the sun.

Happy middle of this week.

Happy Wednesday.

Happy Now………..

The window of smiles

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Looking out from the window

Her baby in her arms

She saw an old lady walking

They smiled at each other

Looking out from the window

Her baby was walking now

She watched her play outside

The child waved and she smiled 

Looking out from the window

Her daughter went to school now

She watched her walking home

She smiled when she got close

Looking out from the window

Her daughter was starting college

She watched her packing the car

She smiled as she drove away

Looking out from the window

Her daughter was a grown woman

She watched her leaving home

She smiled as she waved goodbye

Looking out of the window

Her grandchild in her arms

She saw the same old lady walking

They smiled at each other

Looking out of the window

There was nobody outside

She saw the face of that same old lady

She smiled at her own reflection

I have lived inside two stars

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I remember so well our first date

There was a twinkle in your eye

Sparks crackled with our first kiss

One of them set my heart alight

A warm steady glow at first

Flames began to flicker

Soon my heart was an inferno

An everlasting burning deep love

Fueled by your happy smile

Your touch caused those flames to explode

You told me your heart was ablaze too

Together we formed two bright celestial binary stars

We rode that energy with abandon

Nothing else really mattered

Our love was powered by nuclear fusion

It was going to last forever

It did so for decades

Suddenly your fire for me was extinguished 

It was glowing for somebody else

My flames kept burning

Resisting all your attempts to snuff them out

Burning bright even after you left

Fueled by hope that you would someday return

When I ran out of hope fuel

I poured gallons of desperation on my glowing heart

Unfortunately desperation is not combustable

The glow went dimmer and dimmer

My burning star joy replaced by intense agonizing pain

It was unbearable when my fire went completely cold

I feared it would never burn again

Slowly my pain became almost tolerable

Subsiding to dull ache for most of the time

Memories would cause that pain to intensify like a stabbing knife wound

Reminding me of what my life used to be

Punishing me for something that was not of my doing

Eventually I found a cure for my pain and suffering 

I had to let go of you completely

Sever the ties of our dead binary stars

Then suddenly all the pain was gone

Replaced by a calming emptiness

It was my way of grieving for a death

Although you were still alive and walking around

You were not the same person who once stoked my flames

That was a different you back then

I grieved for a while as I gazed at other galaxies

I was finally in control of my life again

Knowing that you could no longer trick my wounded heart

Your fake smile emitted no sparks for me

You last parting limp hug felt stone cold 

I looked into the night sky checking out the constellations

Just a black hole were our stars once burned bright

It was time for me to take a journey through the universe

A bumpy ride fighting off many alien invaders

Then I spotted an interesting star in the distance

Glowing brighter when I approached

I wasted no time flying right into her heart

Mine was on fire the first time I kissed her

This binary star will burn bright eternally

Some you win and some you lose

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Final Score

my team just lost at home by three goals

dragged over red hot burning coals

they were all over us like a rash

one goal down in a flash

we clung on until halftime

praying for a second half ever so sublime

but sadly it was not meant to be

they scored two more to make it three

we could not find the net to reply

at the end a sad tear in my eye

I am not that admirable graceful loser

prefer to be a constant winning cruiser

please don’t say its just a game

that sentiment just drives me insane

football is not about life and death

its more important than a dying last breath

deciding to hang my head in losing shame

until we emphatically win our next game

Nashville or NashVegas?

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They call it the Music City

country music and girls so pretty

now a bachelorette destination

a party town sensation

they come in wave after wave

pink cowboy hats all the rave

matching printed T shirts

riding along Broadway in short skirts

in an open top party bus

screaming and making a big fuss

all drinking to excess

the bride to be in a veil headdress

waving indiscriminately to passers by

kiss the bride and make her cry

frequent stops for bar hopping

live country music and wild bopping

in the Broadway honky tonk bars

back on the bus waving at passing cars

fresh lipstick and endless preening

constant selfies and video streaming

outfits all far too revealing

even when its near freezing

more drinking and screaming

their egos almost steaming

dancing and more scheming

alcohol induced coma dreaming

that bus will need some cleaning

the lone sailor Part 11 finale

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the next time the Russians came on board they were sober

they talked non-stop event through lunch

on the sail back they were more relaxed

Melissa flirted with them and they started to drink vodka shots

the Russians left with big hugs saying thank you for being great hosts

Michael and Melissa cleaned the boat ready for the next charter

A van pulled up and their backup CIA crew called them over

get in the van now we are leaving the island they said

they drove to the other side of the island and boarded a speedboat

it was a short ride to St Martin where another van drove them to the airport

A private charter jet was waiting for them

a few hours later they were in CIA headquarter in Washington DC

a large debriefing team was assembled in a meeting room

sorry for rushing you guys out so fast but we had no choice

the Russians planned to have you both killed tomorrow

a hit squad was going to shoot you and sink the boat out as sea

the Russian crime bosses had financed middle east terrorists for attacks worldwide

they met on the charter boat to make final preparations

they figured it was a safe place to talk because they knew their villa was bugged

they have just started to short sell stocks in a big way

the plan is to make huge gains when the markets crash after the terror attacks

the terrorist cells will be arrested just before they go into action

the Russians will lose Billions but unfortunately we cannot arrest them

they are already heading back to Moscow now

the team moved to the operations center tracking stock investments

the commander gave the order to raid the terrorist cells

anti-terrorist squads all over the globe sprang into action

all the arrests were carried out with no casualties

Michael and Melissa were congratulated on a successful mission

Michael said he was tired of being under death threats and was quitting the CIA

he announced he was going to sail around the world as he looked at Melissa

she smiled saying no more lone sailing for you because I quit too

the lone sailor part 10

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Melissa took him down to see the boat the next morning

a fifty foot sailing boat is perfect for day cruising

sailing alone the first week so Michael could learn the island coves

they tested the hidden surveillance cameras and microphones

in the evenings they hit the trendy nightspots on the island

Melissa was stunning and attracted a lot of attention

she passed out brochures for their day charters

soon the bookings came in and they got into a routine

Michael spent the early morning getting the boat ready

Melissa went to buy food and supplies

setting sail mid morning while Michelle served drinks

setting anchor in a cove and preparing lunch while their guests swam

the gourmet lunch was served with fine wine

sailing back to the harbor late afternoon

Melissa kept everybody topped up with cocktails on the way back

word soon got around that this cute couple were the best charter crew

after a few weeks they started to get bookings from Russians

the initial parties were just wealthy oligarchs 

but then their prime targets made a booking

these guys were big time Russian crime bosses 

They came on board already half drunk from the night before 

neither of them wanted to swim so Michael served more drinks

he just smiled when they spoke Russian to him

more Russian talk when Melissa served lunch

she smiled saying I have no idea what you are saying but it sounds so sexy

the Russians roared with laughter and downed more vodka

Michael was amazed at their capacity for drinking hard liquor

when they were leaving they re-booked for one week later

that evening night Michael got a secure email from CIA headquarters 

the translated transcript from the Russians conversations made chilling reading

they had said many times that Melissa was going to be killed and thrown overboard

that was a test to see if we understood Russian said Michael