Kevin signed the contract and reported for duty the next day

A temporary cough was waiting for him with Ralph

This is not a difficult gig said the temporary cough

Remember to make him cough a lot when he wakes up or exercises

And when he overdoes it smoking weed

Otherwise be gentle on him and let him enjoy life

I think I can handle that said Kevin

Good luck then said the temporary cough as he left

Kevin now had a new host and he checked out Ralph’s apartment

The kitchen was a mess with mostly beer in the fridge

Ashtrays overflowed everywhere and the place had a funny smell

A mixture of stale beer and yesterday’s pizza

Ralph shuffled around in a dressing gown like the big Lebowski

Maybe I am in a move set though Kevin

Ralph made coffee and rolled a joint while watching TV news

He pulled out his phone to read a text Pool challenge 1pm be there!

Ralph took a ridiculously long shower

Stepping out frequently to take a hit on a joint

Then he got dressed and wandered down toward the local bar

Kevin felt Ralph was struggling on a hill so he made him cough

There were three dudes at the bar waiting for Ralph

Friendly insults were thrown before they started their pool challenge

Kevin popped out to join the other coughs at the bar

Oh you are the new cough for Ralph said Eddy

Welcome to the gang and they all high fived

We meet up here regularly so you are going to have fun

Kevin noted the cute bartender was coughing a lot

Wait till you meet Suzanne’s cough said Eddy, she is a real stunner

Then out pops Suzanne’s cough heading straight to Kevin

Hi my name is Janet and you must be Ralph’s new cough

Kevin was mesmerized by this beautiful creature 

Er er yes I am Kevin he stuttered as she smiled and gave him a big hug

It was love at first sight for Kevin

He was on cloud nine and they chatted endlessly

Looks like you hit it off with Janet said Eddy

Kevin just smiled and popped back into Ralph who was ready to leave

Ralph went home to smoke a couple of joints and then fell asleep in front of the TV

Kevin noted that Ralph rarely ate at all which was what he was so thin

He was not in bad shape for a full time hippy but he did smoke a lot

A few days later Kevin saw Janet back at the bar while Ralph was playing poker

I have 30 mins off for lunch Kevin, lets step out in the alley for a breath of fresh air

Soon they were kissing passionately, Kevin was in heaven 

Fortunately Ralph frequented that bar often and the love affair blossomed

The next time they stepped into the Alley, Janet said I have something to tell you Kevin

I am coughpregnant