Month: January 2024

Ebb and Flo

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Ebb was a nice guy

he just could not get his act together

things seemed to slip out of his grasp

he chased them one away

then they went the other way

his life was turbulent

Flo was a lady in control

she practiced yoga every day

meditation kept her stress levels down 

she was always happy and contented

nothing ever fazed her

her every day went smoothly

Ebb met Flo and they fell in love instantly

they complimented each other

Flo taught Ebb how to relax

his days became more controlled

Ebb taught Flo how to let go sometimes

and occasionally be wild and spontaneous

They settled down and got married

soon the babies started to arrive

they were caring and loving parents

their kids grew and went to college

they became proud grandparents

they were very happy and contented

their life together had ebbed and flowed so well

Not if I can help it

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The cold howled and whistled

A signal of the biting cold outside

He tried to keep warm indoors

The woodpile by the fire was almost depleted 

The wind howled and whistled 

Deep snow lay on the ground

Daylight hardly dared to show

Cold nights clung desperately to dimly lit mornings

He pulled on his boots and coat

Picked up the empty basket

Headed outside to the woodshed

The ice cold wind instantly biting his face

He had to shovel a path from the front door to the woodpile

Creating a deep channel in the snow

The icy wind stung him like a swarm of angry bees

His hands were numb as he filled the basket with logs

Once back inside he fed the fire

He was drenched in sweat from his labors

He quickly changed into dry clothes

Steam rose from his wet clothes hanging by the fire

The cold wind howled and whistled louder

I will get you next time it was saying

Not if I can help it he answered

The damp wood crackled in the fireplace

He counted his provisions

Dividing them into small daily rations

He had enough food for a month or so

Hoping the winter siege would end by then

The wind howled and whistled louder

I will starve you out it said

Not if I can help it he answered

The wind howled back in anger

A few weeks later the wind died down

He was able to venture out and chop more wood

The snow started to thaw

He had survived the worst of the weather

It was going to be a memorable spring and summer

Until next time whispered the wind

Not if I can help it he laughed

technical error

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today’s writing went out just before midnight last night

it was deemed a technical error

but in reality it was a human error

I hit the publish button by mistake

giving you all a big clue

that my daily writings are often written a day ahead

and scheduled to be published at a specific time

so no new writing today

sorry for the inconvenience

at least you know I am human and not some AI robot

No regrets

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When I was sixteen

I decided to learn golf

after purchasing a few clubs

I practiced in a large field

I spent the whole summer

hooking and slicing

chipping and putting

searching for lost balls

I became obsessed

with making that perfect shot

analyzing my swing

adjusting my grip

occasionally I would hit it long and straight

my mathematical brain

believing I had cracked it

convinced I would be a pro golfer

until the next shot was fluffed

started to calculate

club face angles

and ball trajectories

sadly it became apparent

that the most minute errors in my swing

caused huge differences in the ball flight

I became very frustrated

I had to make a big decision

should I spend the rest of my life

trying to master this crazy game

or do I accept that I never will

at the end of that summer

I put away my clubs

I have never played golf since

over fifty years later I have no regrets

Are we all living in a reality TV show

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election looming

gloomers dooming

opposing politicians

creating divisions

outrageous claims

blaming games

alternative facts

gaslighting distracts

television news

truth skews

changing channel

different angle

reality distorted

lies reported

fake news

abusers abuse

optimism fading

dreams jading

reality TV

hijacked thee

Sugar and bacon

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I once met a pet house pig called Sugar

She was very sweet

Sugar would come when called

Pigs are very intelligent animals

She got too big for her owner 

Sugar now lives on an animal rescue farm

It was hard to look at her as a food item

I do however think of her every time I smell bacon

I am planning a road trip to see Sugar

Along with her owner and close friends

We will hire a driver and a minibus

Sing songs along the way

Fueled by adult beverages and snacks

Upon arrival there will be selfies

Postings on Facebook and Instagram

A guess the weight of Sugar competition

All guesses will carry an entry fee

The winner gets to collect all the money

And hand it to the animal rescue staff

There will be tearful goodbyes

More singing and drinking going back

Stopping at a restaurant for dinner

Will anybody dare to order pulled pork or bacon

We love you Sugar

Why are we on this planet

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We all look up to people with qualities we admire

Be it courage or great skills

Maybe passions or an ability to think clearly

They could be

Outstanding at sports

Great entertainers

Top selling authors

Gifted musicians and performers

A teacher or a mentor

A big brother or sister

That trusted reliable friend

The list is endless

These people were not born that way

They had to work hard to be who they are

If you work hard and stay focussed

You can acquire all the qualities you desire

Then others will come to you for advice

They will seek your guidance and encouragement

You can be a great mentor

So go get yourself mentored today

Then be a mentor for others tomorrow

That is the only reason we are on this planet

Leave a legacy and make a difference

Its OK to have fun along the way

Nothing else matters

Gastronomic Timeshare

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I woke up this morning feeling very groggy

Still half asleep with a banging sore head

A real bad hangover feeling

Unable to remember what I drank last night

It must have been a lot 

because I could not remember anything at all

Then things slowly started to come back into focus

I did not drink anything alcoholic at all yesterday

In fact I have not drank anything since New Year’s Eve

My goal is to complete a dry January

Well not all of January but at least until Burns Night

For that is an essential drinking night for all true Scotsmen

My fake hangover today was from my head cold symptoms

Which coincidentally started on January 1st

Just my luck to stop drinking and be rewarded with a never ending fake hangover

I feel cheated in having a 3 day hangover without the buzz of drinking

There must be credits owed to me by the hangover gods

At least 3 credits worth a drink or two with no hangovers

With conditions that they could be used back to back

And that I can transfer them to a friend if need be

Or trade them for eating big meal credits without weight gain

Maybe with enough credits I could by a gastronomic timeshare

One that lets me spend an entire week of fine dining and adult beverages

With a guarantee of no weight gain or hangovers

But wait that timeshare would probably cost hundreds of credits

Requiring me to suffer a few dozen bouts of cold or flu

It would take me decades of dry times to earn that timeshare

I will settle for this cold to get better in a day or so

Then I shall blow all my credits on Robbie Burns birthday

Cough! Cough! Sneeze!……………..Slàinte Mhaith

The Red Apple Seductress

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I was on a long walk

green fields and blue skies

I was feeling hungry

reaching for my packed lunch

I picked up an apple

it felt cool and smooth

shiny bright red unblemished

her subtle fragrance was unmistakably feminine 

My teeth sank into the perfect skin

sweet juices ran into my mouth

I sliced off a small a chunk

it was crunchy

I chewed slowly

more juices flowed

her aroma exploded in my nostrils

eat some more she whispered

my second bite was bigger

juices ran down my chin

I chewed fast and loud

gasping for air between bites

the faster I ate 

the more I wanted

until there was just the core

I tossed it into the field

maybe it will grow into a tree

I should take a look in a few years

if I can ever remember

to go back there

I will never forget though

how that smooth red lady apple

seduced me into eating her flesh

and left me wondering why she picked me to disperse her offspring

Under the gun

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under the gun

to get things done

never enough time

this must be a sign

under the gun

the task has hardly begun

your supervisor is complaining

this lifestyle is not sustaining

under the gun

you need a home run

more tasks keep piling up

your employer is corrupt

under the gun

its all coming undone

you are feeling ever so tired

then you get fired

under the gun

this is no fun

applications and interviews

unemployment blues

under the gun

a new job you won

you are a champion performer

your life has turned the corner

no longer under the gun