He wanted to add something different to his renovations

New wood had no character and he rejected it as boring

He found a supplier of reclaimed wood

Materials rescued from old building demolitions

Sifting through all the remnants he picked everything out

There were pine boards for the floor

Oak for floating shelves

English elm for the mantle

It all blended together so well 

Complete with knots and filled nail holes

He admired the finished work over a glass of single malt

Wondering what stories the wood could tell

The wood remained tight lipped

He had a second and third single malt before falling asleep

Once he was snoring soundly the shelf started talking

Well this is better than where I used to live

I am sure it is replied the mantle

I used to roast over an open fire but now its a decorative gas fire

This place is a step up from our previous homes said the pine

My previous owners trampled on us with working boots

This guy roams around in slippers

And you get cleaned and polished weekly said the shelves

You were lucky to get that once a year before

Yes we hit the jackpot said the mantle

He woke from his slumber and staggered off to bed

Once he was snoring again the shelves piped up

Look he left a bottle of single malt on top of me

Lets have a party to celebrate our new home

The pine flooring wandered over and took a sip

Pass me a glass shouted the mantle

They laughed and told stories all through the night

Leaving only a small amount in the bottle on the shelf

When he woke up the next morning he looked around

The place looked fabulous but the bottle of single malt caught his eye

I don’t remember drinking all that he proclaimed

But I guess I must have because nobody else was here

The shelves chuckled and the pine floor sniggered 

Be quiet whispered the mantle, we must not get discovered

The security cameras piped up saying we captured you all on video

OK said the shelving, how much to keep you guys quiet?

That bottle of port on the shelf looks good said the cameras

OK its yours said the shelf, I will slide it to you when he goes out

The cameras got wasted on port and accidentally sent out an alert

Police responded immediately to an assumed burglary but found nothing

The owner was embarrassed by the false alarm and disconnected the alarm system

After restocking his bar he went away on vacation for two weeks

Booze was flying off the shelf and the pine invited everybody to dance on him

They were rocking and rolling all night with booze flowing and joints being passed around

Somebody dropped a joint on the pine floor and it started a fire

By the time the fire dept arrived the house was well ablaze

All the reclaimed wood perished in the fire

The owner came back and viewed the damage’

He decided to rebuild the house entirely from reclaimed wood………