Month: May 2022

Possibly the meaning of life

Ian Hunter2 Comments

I was hoping for a perfect spring day

to take a long bike ride

pull some weeds from the yard

clean up the front porch

so many things to do outside

then I looked at the weather forecast

possible showers today

that did not seem so bad

I had breakfast and got ready to ride my bike

black clouds rolled in fast

then the thunder clapped

as if to applaud the ensuing downpour

the morning was spent doing indoor projects

I did mange an hour of outdoor work in the afternoon

before another thunderstorm rolled in

it rained for the rest of the day

radar showed the storm was bigger than Texas

but the local weather forecast said only 49% chance if rain

I surrendered to the meteorologists vagueness 

frustrated that no other profession can be like theirs

imagine dropping your car off for a scheduled service

to be told that they might possibly work on it that day

you call 911 when you need an emergency response

  you do not expect they might possibly send and ambulance 

would you tell your children you possibly loved them

should a pilot be told he could possibly land on runway 3

I might possibly ignore the weather forecast tomorrow

I could possibly discover the meaning of life

I might possibly win the lottery

while riding my bike

possibly

Drunks walking red carpets

Ian Hunter1 Comment

ask anybody who their idol is

its most likely its a pop star or a film actor

or a professional sports person

why do we place entertainers in such high esteem

they earn ridiculous amounts of money

just to sing a song or speak to a camera or hit a ball

they also get paid for endorsements

telling us all what to wear or eat

as if they were some kind of expert

they often gather at lavish galas

showering each other with self gratifying awards

making rambling speeches often while drunk

but audiences still lap it up

your idols are forgiven their bad behavior

intoxication and infidelity are accepted

as par for the course of stardom

your invisible unsung heroes are all around you

volunteer firefighters will fearlessly rush into your burning home

paramedics will save your life if you crash your car

ER doctors will be alert at 4am to to treat you when chronically sick

intensive care nurses will work long shifts to bring you back to good health

poorly paid cleaners will scrub the hospital floors you walk on

if you become homeless or starving you will encounter living angels

police officers will risk their lives protecting you from criminals

coastguard pilots will rescue you if you are lost in raging seas

military personnel will hunt down dangerous terrorists who could harm you

agricultural workers will tirelessly harvest crops for your food

your life is better now because forgotten activists tirelessly fought injustice

the list of your invisible unsung heroes is endless

but you will never see one drunk walking a red carpet

How to deny knowledge responsibility or agreement in French

Ian Hunter1 Comment

So you want to roam around Paris

Without being labelled

As a touriste

Who speaks no French

Fear not

Help is on the way

Here is what to do

When responding to anything said to you in French

To signal you do not know

Or do not care

Or do not agree

Just like a Parisian

Take a deep breath

Hands by your sides

Palms facing forward

Stick out your lower lip

Raise your shoulders and eyebrows

Eyes wide open

In a low grunting voice

say BOF

Congratulations

You just mastered the Gallic Shrug

From eyes into bellies and beyond

Ian Hunter1 Comment

That brownie tasted so good

I enjoyed every bite

Decided to eat a second one

It left a lingering aftertaste of deep guilt

The pizza looked huge

I was only going to eat half

The second half tasted even better

I felt satisfyingly bloated

I planned to drink just a couple of beers

They went down ever so fast

I had to drink another three

At least I am not dehydrated

I hate looking an menus in restaurants

Preferring to check out other folks meals

I order what looks the most appealing

It never seems to taste as good as it looks

How come street food tastes so good

Its just a meal in cardboard from a van

Usually eaten at the side of the road

Accompanied by a side of heavy traffic pollution

I really enjoy cooking at home

Complicated meals with many steps

I sample every ingredient for taste

By the time its all ready I am no longer hungry

English pub food with good beer is amazing

Shepherds pie or fish and chips

They never taste like that at home

Unless you happen to live in a pub

I love hot Indian curries with rice

Chicken vindaloo is what I usually order

I would never admit its too spicy while eating

The next day I always regret not admitting