Month: May 2022

Secret lives – Part 2

Ian HunterLeave a comment

She listened to his workday complaining over dinner

Like a good sympathetic wife

Telling him to watch TV and relax

While she cleared the table and tidied the kitchen

He fell asleep in front of the TV

She pulled out her laptop

Checking her emails while he dozed

Looking for messages from her agent

She found a bunch of them

Urging her to go public

Go on a book signing tour

He had TV shows lined up for her

Her last novel was getting great reviews

Her agent had negotiated a huge advance for her next book

Big fat royalty checks filled her accounts

Her husband snored louder

She had a theme for her next book

But more research was needed

Some of it could be done on line

But she had to interview people face to face

Their stories fueled her writing

She had a talent for making her characters come alive

She read more emails while her husband slept

Her agent was forwarding requests to meet her

One fan letter caught her eye

From a man called Jack

Claiming to have read all her books

Wanting to meet her and tell his own incredible story

Her husband started to rouse

She returned to doing daily household chores

Pulling the empty lunch box from his briefcase

She discovered he was reading one of her books  

Secret Lives – Part 1

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He left for work at the usual time

A routine kiss for his wife as she opened the door

A short drive to the train station

To take the same seat on the same train

She cleared away the breakfast plates

Made the bed and cleaned the house

Made everything look perfect

Like a good suburban housewife

She checked his train was on time

Drove to the bad side of town

Parked outside the prison

Showed her ID to get inside

She sat at a table in the visitors room 

Notepad and pen in hand

A pale prisoner was led to her table

He was covered in tattoos. 

Where did we leave off he asked

You had just disposed of the body she replied

He picked up on his story

She wrote shorthand notes

Time is up said the guard

She watched him being led away

Before speeding back home

To type up her notes 

Her agent called to chat

The publishers were screaming for her next book

The seven previous were all best sellers

She insisted on remaining anonymous 

She scrambled to prepare dinner

As her husband put the key in the door

What did you do today he asked

Nothing at all she replied

you can be a farmer too

Ian Hunter1 Comment
you entered Tractor Supply Co

there were no tractors for sale

but they did have some tractor parts

lots of animal feed and fencing

there were some chicks in a pen

bags of feed and fertilizer

cool and trendy farmer clothing

everything you need to start your own hobby farm

not the kind that sells tons of produce

more aimed at putting something barely edible on the table very occasionally

you buy lots of stuff and head to your country second home

your weekend retreat to entertain friends from the city

serving home grown chicken and vegetable meals

cooked in an electric oven powered by coal fired electricity plants

accompanied by not at all home grown wine and cocktails

served on plates which were made on the grid in China

delivered by oil burning container ships

to a port with diesel trucks waiting

to distribute your plates to a store

which wastes tons of energy on exotic displays

back at your country retreat dinner party

you serve the meal on a table made from rain forest mahogany

in a house with wood burning fires

lit by hundreds of burning candles

your guests all came in gas guzzling cars

clutching their expensive iPhones

everybody talks about saving the planet

comparing notes about donating to green causes

discussing all the carbon neutral places to buy stuff

as the freon polluting frozen ice cream is served

then somebody mentions the words Tractor Supply

Your ears prick up and your significant other runs out of the kitchen

everybody awaits the next words

somebody breaks the silence

“lets all go to Tractor Supply”

you are so happy that they picked your Mecca

you burn lots of gas driving there fast

entering the store with excitement

your guests all buy trendy farming clothing

you buy extra chicken wire to keep out the fox

one of your guests tries to checkout with Bitcoin

a currency mined with vast amounts of wasteful energy

you all head back to your hobby farm happy and singing folk songs

to find fire trucks and flashing lights

somebody had knocked over a candle on the way out

your hobby farm has been totally destroyed

leaving you with a massive carbon footprint

you check on the chickens outside

the fox had already taken them all

time to head back to the city

Decisions decisions

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Debbie worked in a busy office 

she was happily married

her husband worked an early shift

he picked the kids up from school every day

every Friday she went for a quick drink after work

with a small group of co-workers

to the same bar across the street

but today only Mike was there

they chatted about work home and their kids

how well things were going for each of them

it was time to leave when Debbie said

Oh no, I left my keys in my desk

the office was now closed for the weekend

Mike offered to open up for her

they walked across the street

lets make sure you find them keys he said 

the office was dimly lit

Debbie was relieved to find her keys

she turned to give Mike an innocent goodbye hug

she wasn’t expecting anything more

a friendly hug is over fast and leaves no aftertaste

but this one lasted well beyond the friendly stage

neither of them tried to break free

Debbie felt a warm glow as they kissed

the long passionate kiss was interrupted by her phone ringing

it was her husband so she picked up

Mike was still holding her as she spoke 

I had to work late honey,  I am leaving soon, I love you

She looked into Mike’s Eyes

seeing only passion romance and lust

he leaned in to kiss her again

her heart wanted that kiss so bad but her head was saying don’t do it

Sammy the shark

Ian Hunter2 Comments

Sammy was a young shark

he swam with all the other adolescents

not big enough to swim with the big sharks

but too big to dart around with the babies

he never did fit in with the group

feeling they were all to vicious in killing prey

always holding back in the attacks

picking up scraps of discarded flesh

as he grew’ bigger he worried more

he started to lose weight

his parents became very concerned

sending him first to a shark doctor

who could find nothing wrong physically

Sammy continued to worry and get thinner

his parents decided to send him to a shark psychologist

they spent many hours with Sammy laying on a seabed couch 

eventually they figured out that Sammy was vegetarian 

his parents were totally shocked

how could our son not like eating fish

whatever did we do wrong in parenting and can we find a cure

Sammy was relieved to learn the news

he decided to come out and told everybody

many of his friends just swam away

not wanting to risk being converted

even some family members shunned him

Sammy spent all day foraging for seaweed

it was hard work to find enough food to sustain him

one day he spotted another shark grazing in the kelp

“what’s your name” he asked

“I am Robert” came the reply

they became instant friends

spending days together looking for vegetarian food

the other sharks were cruel to them

calling them names like “finless vegetarian” and “Sharkweer”

Sammy was upset and Robert consoled him

“Look Sammy” said Robert “these people just cannot handle anything outside their comfort zone”

“they are all Queervegetarianshark Fobics”

Soon after Sammy organized a seaweed eaters pride parade

with floats that did not float and shark drag queens 

Bobby met somebody new at the parade

they swam off together leaving Sammy all alone

Sammy got really annoyed at being dumped so publicly

he snapped at a passing fish

devouring him in seconds

Sammy never ate seaweed again

storm chasers

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the bay is being lashed by a Nor’easter

whitecaps zip along

waves batter the marsh

the wind pushes the tide back

even low tide is a flood condition

storms crash overhead

rain pelts down

the sky and the sea rage in anger

trees sway in high winds

broken limbs litter the ground

a solitary bird perched on a platform

facing into the storm

I wonder what he is thinking

is he patiently awaiting the storm to pass

or is he too tired to seek shelter

maybe he is a storm chaser

reporting back to the birds in shelter

like those crazy TV weather reporters

who stand in floods and lean into winds

clinging to their microphones

As they tell us how bad the storm is

next time you watch the severe weather reporters on location

look for the storm chasing bird on the platform behind them

Rain controller

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she saw the rain

dashed outside

fine gentle rain

fell softly on her face

looking at the clouds

she whispered

I want more rain

the clouds obliged

the rain became heavier

a torrential downpour

she stood her ground

it rained more

for hours

and hours

soaked to the skin

she looked up

whispered skyward

stop rain stop

suddenly 

the rain ceased

clouds parted

warm rays of sun

kissed her cheeks

she smiled

and whispered

finally it worked

she went inside

her husband frowned

handed her a towel

asked her firmly

will you stop now

you have been trying

to control the rain

without success

almost every day

for eleven years 

please quit now

while you are a winner

A shiny boat solved my problem

Ian Hunter2 Comments

for the last couple of days I have been doing hard physical work

detailing my boat which involves cleaning, scrubbing and waxing

the sort of movements that leave you aching at the end of the day

listening to complaints from muscles that are infrequently taxed

despite the fatigue it is rewarding in many ways

firstly you must plan the sequence of events and gather materials

if the job runs smoothly you get satisfaction from good planning

then there is the pleasure of seeing the fruits of your labor

stepping back every hour or so to admire the transformation

but there is one other benefit from doing hard physical work

for sure you must keep your mind on the job to stay safe

however your brain is capable of doing that with minimal effort

leaving a large part of your subconscious mind free

while you totally focused on polishing and doing  good job safely

your subconscious  mind is having a field day

he sits there looking through your eyes

noting that you will be occupied for many hours

giving him the opportunity to flip through all your worries and concerns

he calls on other parts of your brain to join him in break out sessions

they work flat out brainstorming ideas and ranking solutions

they test out a shortlist and pick out the winner

all this is going on while you are busy with manual tasks

at the end of the day I stopped to admire my work

I took a long hot shower and started thinking about a problem

it was a problem I have been wrestling with for a very long time

then the solution just popped into my head

of course I claimed credit for having a brilliant idea

but the reality is that my subconscious fixed it

he slipped it under the door to my conscious mind

then he chuckled listening to me broadcasting my solution

so the moral of this story is simple

if you are wrestling to find a solution to a big problem

stop worrying and find a big manual task to keep you busy

let your subconscious figure it out

but you can still take all the credit

and your boat will be super shiny too

Writing cleanses the soul

Ian Hunter6 Comments

I often wonder why I have this urge to write

it all started seriously in my retirement

my mind became free of technical and business tasks

writing started as a hobby for me

something lighthearted and fun to pass the time

steadily developing into a daily pre-breakfast ritual

why is there such a burning desire in me to write something daily

I have been trying to understand it for the last six years

there is no clear answer or definition

the closest explanation I can give is in these words

we go through life performing actions

mostly driven by the demands of others

in those rare moments of solitude

when you are alone with just your thoughts

ideas are created

dreams are made

fears are confronted

memories are cherished

if you leave these thoughts in your head

they may disappear forever

if you write down your thoughts

they become memorialized 

they can then be read by others

you might entertain, enlighten or inspire somebody 

Writing cleanses the soul

Wodensday

Ian Hunter2 Comments

So its Wednesday today

Well it was when I wrote this

What exactly does that mean I wonder

In old English Wednesday was called Wodensday

Named after the Anglo-Saxon god Woden

Woden was the leader of the wild hunt

His name was made from two words

Wod meaning violently insane

en meaning headship

The latin origin of today is Mercurii meaning day of Mercury

Mercury was the Roman god of commerce and travel

He was also associated with thievery eloquence and science

Mercury was the messenger of the other gods

So today you can either go on a totally wild hunt for something

Under the watchful eye of your violently insane leader

Or 

Travel somewhere and eloquently execute a fraudulent scientific deal 

Knowing that your leader will spill the beans

Civilizations evolve but today some folks behave exactly like their ancestors