Month: March 2022

Stash some cash-real or virtual

Ian Hunter2 Comments

finding a bunch of cash in clothes you have not worn for a while

is like winning the lottery without buying a ticket

such a bonus to find something you never remember losing

you skip all the anguish of searching for it

and go straight to the joy of finding

the sensible thing to do would be to save it

add it to your rainy day fund

but thats not happening with this cash

it is reserved exclusively for frivolous spending

you could buy something whacky and impractical

or spoil yourself with hand made chocolates

maybe a fancy cocktail at the bar

these are all much more fun than holding a bank deposit slip

everybody should experience the joy of finding free money

we should all pay it forward and hide cash in clothes

not just your own clothes but in the pockets of friends and family

share the joy in your lovers face as she stumbles upon her free money

watch your kids get excited to find their shoes full of coins

of course you must never own up to stashing cash

best to let the finders think they just found their own money

there should be a national stash some cash day

the economy will boom when all that money gets spent

people today will want to stash virtual cash

Venmo your distant friends an anonymous payment

they might even do the same for you

you will smile too when your Venmo App lights up at an unplanned deposit

Forever bald now and proud of it

Ian Hunter3 Comments

 I was born totally bald

As a baby I grew curly blonde hair

It was very cute

By the time I was ten my hair was totally dark

I had very long dark hair in my teens

It was my symbol of defiance

I kept my long hair all through college days

But I had to cut it shorter to enter the job market

My first gray hairs appeared in my late twenties

I tried to ignore them

But they became more prominent

It was in my late thirties that my hair started to thin on top

Progressively a bald spot grew larger

I took to wearing hats a lot

In my forties my bald spot grew toward the front

By the time I was fifty my hair was totally gray

And I was growing it longer on one side

I had succumbed to the dreaded comb-over

Convincing myself that it hid my bald spot

Except when the wind blew

My bald spot declared independence

Refusing to be occupied by the comb-over

I finally gave in and told my bald spot he had won

The war was over and it was time to surrender

I sat in the barber’s chair one day in my fifties

Looking at my stupid straggly comb over in the mirror

What would you like sir he enquired

Shave it all off I bravely declared

Soon my comb-over was in shreds on the floor

Swept away by a young lady wielding a broom

Never to return again

From that day on I joined the elite group of men

Proudly displaying a totally bald head

Daily shaving keeps my head smooth

No more bald spot hidden under a comb-over

Yes I had lost the battle to keep my hair

But I had won the war of being in denial

No more bad hair days

No more washing my hair

No more trips to the barber

Forever bald now and proud of it