Early morning silence shrouded in darkness

She lays in bed after a short unsettling sleep

Her mind acutely aware of the pains of old age

Limbs ache and stiff joints resist motion

Her mind tells her to ignore the pain

She tries to remain totally still and avoid any muscle movement

Shunning her medication as it slows down her thoughts

Its an ongoing war with daily battles

Sometimes those battles are lost and she swallows the pills

Today the pillbox sits untouched on the nightstand

She reaches out to the left side in the bed

Feeling the empty space once occupied by her recently departed husband

Her heart aches at the memory of his loss

There is no medication prescribed for such pain

She lingers a while conjuring up images of their life together

Long walks holding hands

Romantic dinners together

Bringing up a family

Smiling faces on vacations

Playing with their grandchildren

Before he was suddenly taken away after a short illness

Her hands scream in pain as she clutches the empty bedsheets

A long glance at the pills starts a fierce debate

Another day of pain or medically induced numbness

Why not take the whole box of pills she pondered

It would put and end to these constant battles

She reached out to grab he pill bottle

Recoiling sharply as she heard a voice yell no don’t do it

It was her husband no mistake

She put the light on replied where are you?

There was nobody else in the room

She sighed and reached again for the pill bottle

Please don’t take the pills he screamed

OK honey she answered knowing he was watching over her

Reaching out to smooth the wrinkled sheets on her husband’s side of the bed

Her arthritic fingers resisted but she overcame the pain

I promise not to swallow the whole bottle of pills she said softly

She never went near the pill bottle for the rest of that day

One day of battle won

Pulling back the sheets at bedtime

Her husband’s side of the bed was already wrinkled