Olly the olive lived in a jar

He only came out at parties 

But most times went back in the jar

This evening he was out again

Next to Percy the peanut

Alongside Barry the breadstick

Close to Harriet the Humous

Olly had been here before many times

Olly warned Barry to watch out

The ladies are most likely to pick you up

They might dip you in Harriet

But they will hold onto you all evening

Olly told Percy his days were numbered

The guys always dive into the peanuts

Scooping dozens with their unwashed hands

If you do not get eaten this evening

You may well be coated in germs and get sick

Watch out said Olly here come the ladies

Sure enough they all went for the breadsticks

Barry saw his friends picked up one by one

The ladies all held their cocktails high in their left hand

The breadsticks stayed in their right hand

Used as a conversation conducting stick

Pointed towards other ladies across the room

Directing the gossip about those unfashionable dresses

Hang tight said Olly the guys are coming over now

Percy winced as unwashed grimy hand scooped up his companions

Hurling entire handfuls into their open mouths

Some peanuts bounced off faces and fell to the floor

They were soon crushed by overweight size ten shoes

They others had a quick ending in those beer fumed orifices

Harriet was appalled that some guys dipped a finger in her dish

These men are so uncouth she complained

This is just the start said Olly

Once the guys get drunk they eat just about everything

Olly watched Barry get snapped in two by a bearded drunk

His crumbs falling into a beer soaked beard

The last of Harriet was licked clean from her bowl by a very drunk man

Percy the peanut was the next to go

Leaving Olly and a few of his brothers and sisters

I think we are safe now said Olly

They are all heading towards the dinner table

We will soon be back in the jar

Until the next cocktail party