The waiting room at the doctors office

Nobody really wants to be there

You are forced to go because you are sick

Or must attend an annual checkup

Nobody wants to make eye contact or chat

The well thumbed old magazines are probably full of germs

In contrast to the totally sterile muted daytime TV in the corner

Lets all pretend we are invisible as we pull out our cell phones

Plunging into the scary virtual world of self diagnosis

There is always somebody with a really bad cough

Everybody is holding their breath now

A nurse comes in to call a name

Its not me but now I know the name of coughing man

I will look for that name for the obituary columns tomorrow

Why did he get called so quickly

I arrived well before him

Do you get punished for arriving here on time

I wish that noisy child would shut up

The nurse appears again and calls out my name

I leap up and follow her

Not limping, shuffling or wincing in pain

To keep everybody guessing whats wrong with me

The nurse puts me in a tiny room

Takes my vitals and says the doctor will see me soon

She leaves me in solitary confinement

No TV or magazines in this lonely place

I am beginning to miss the entertainment of the big waiting room

Time passes slowly

I read all the posters on the wall

Lecturing me on the health benefits of green vegetables

I start to crave a burger with fries and a beer

I decide to surf my medical problem on the internet yet again

My symptoms cover a range of conditions

It could be nothing to worry about

Or I may die in great pain very soon

Finally the doctor comes in all smiling in a badly fitting white coat

He asks me how am I doing

As he taps on a computer screen in the corner

I wanted to say

Your waiting room sucks

Why are you so late for our appointment

I almost died waiting for you

You look far too young to be a real doctor

That stupid white coat is way too big for you

Are you just going to google my symptoms

But opted to be polite and replied

I am doing great thanks